Friday, December 14, 2007


I guess you could call this a reworking of my original "Hell Below Me, Stars Above" piece. It's the same basic theme and layout(astronaut on rocky peak besieged by tentacles and claws, blasting away at the advancing hordes), just a bit modified. I have a bad habit of wanting to continually go back and tinker with old pieces I'm no longer happy with. I hope I don't spend the rest of my life going back and revisiting the same bunch of illustrations.

This is just the pencil stage, of course. I flipped the original and kind of like how it looks in reverse, reading more from left to right. Haven't yet decided which version I like. Inks and colors to come.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

"The GREEP is coming to chew on you!"

My little girl, Parker, is 6 years old, and she loves to tickle and play with her daddy. One of her favorite games involves turning off all the lights in the bedroom (when it's dark outside), shutting the door so no light comes in, and trying to avoid me as I pretend to be a monster/dinosaur/fiend who's trying to eat her. I gave my monster an off-the-cuff name the other night: the Greep. It's also the sound the Greep makes as it stalks it's prey: "Greep, greep!"

She wanted to sit down with me and draw what the Greep looks like, so we each sketched out what we were seeing in our heads as we played. So, these are our versions of the Greep. Guess which belongs to whom...

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

"What the @#$%&* is Wanglin'"

Every once in a while, it's fun to dig up an old phrase or colloquialism and toss it back out into the public arena to see how it plays. "Keep on truckin'" (popularized in Robert Crumb's comic strip) was one that I thought was due for another ride around the neighborhood, so I started tossing it out there in casual conversation and using it to sign off the occasional correspondence. I don't know why (perhaps it came to me in a dream), but one day the phrase "Keep on Wanglin'" popped into my head (perhaps I was just bored with "truckin"). I liked the sound of it, and jotted it down in my omnipresent notebook for future rumination.

Most of my illustrations and designs are born from odd words or phrases that happen to jump to mind and are immediately captured in my notebook, and this is a perfect example -- I just had to figure out what "wangling" is! It came to me just the other day, and it seems so obvious in retrospect: "wangling" is "the action of a squid, octopus, or other tentacled creature walking across a solid surface using a majority of its appendages for locomotion". See? It's so obvious. And so, another future t-shirt design is born (with apologies to Mr. Crumb)!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

"Don't Fear the Reaper"

This is the rare illustration that went from rough doodle to finished pencils in one sitting (while rotting my brain in front of the tee-vee, no less). Unless I'm watching the rare TV show that really engages my mind, I persistently doodle/pencil while watching TV with the wife before she retires for the night. I usually sit on the couch with my lightbox on my lap refining pencils or noodling out a work-in-progress sketch whilst "watching" TV, and this design went from concept to finished pencils in one day, which is rare for me, as I usually work on things in slow stages, allowing for a bit of time to let something sit before I come back to it to see if it needs some rethinking/retooling. This was a simple enough design, inspired by nothing in particular (just a sort of stream of consiousness sketch) save for a need to work on something while watching HEROES.

PISTON VINEGAR was the name of the crappy garage band that my brother and I were in before I moved off to Florida to attend art school. I haven't really played guitar since, due to living in apartments where the neighbors would certainly be irritated, and the plain lack of time to mess around with practicing. I still do the occasional t-shirt/poster design for a band that no longer exists, however, so whenever I come up with a random sketch that seems to fit nowhere else, it ends up as a PISTON VINEGAR design. The name PISTON VINEGAR, is of course a wordplay on the amusing phrase "full of piss and vinegar". I came up with that myself. Aren't I a clever boy?

"GEEKROCKET" t-shirt design pencils

Finished pencils for another t-shirt design I'm working on (for myself). This design was born from a simple coincidental "accident". I had arrived home from my latest trip to BOOKS-A-MILLION several months ago with two magazines I had purchased to try out. The magazines were fairly new launches: GEEK and ROCKET magazines, both of which dealt with similar pop-culture themes and interests. Seeing them lying next to each other on my coffee table, I smooshed them together and this image popped into my head. I did a quick sketch and it's been waiting patiently in my sketchbook to be fleshed out until now. The original sketch did not feature the coin-operated kiddie-ride angle, rather it featured the two "geeks" in a simple cartoon rocket. I thought the geek angle could be accentuated by having the two riding in one of those coin-operated "rides" you see outside of Wal-Marts and K-Marts, and a t-shirt design was born!

In doing a bit of web research on coin-operated kiddie rides, I thought I'd like to continue this theme in a few other designs. I've started several other sketches featuring various odd folks/creatures enjoying assorted coin-operated kiddie rides, and I think it'd make a nice sub-category of designs. I'd have to come up with something other than "GEEKROCKET" though, because they obviously won't all be riding in rockets. I (briefly) considered branding the series "KIDDIE-RIDE", but quickly discarded this as no respectable citizen wants to be seen wandering about in public with a shirt that potentially labels them some as sort of pedophile (though I could market them to the NAMBLA crowd). More thought is needed -- details to come.

Thursday, November 15, 2007


And here's the brave Luchador with the "wee flopsy legs" confronting his archenemy. "LuchaDoloroso" roughly translates to "painful wrestler" while "DemonioPulpo" is, of course "Demon-Octopus"! I'm trying to decide whether to give them a setting at all, or to just use some sort of graphic element as a background (stylized speedlines or radial explosion, etc). I'm thinking the luchador could use a battle scar or two, as well. Still hammering out the details.


Top half of an work-in-progress featuring this big boy leaping upon his natural enemy! Finished piece coming soon!

Friday, November 9, 2007


Finished colored inks for my new mascot that will go on the reverse side of my new business cards (with the other mascot, the Pop-Monkey, on the front). Pulp-Squid here represents the pulpier, grittier side of my artistic romps, while the Pop-Monkey covers the whimsical, cartoony stuff!
Squids 'n' Monkeys...natural enemies in the wild, but a common love for art has brought them together as friends -- nay, as allies! That's a tag-team duo you do not want to have staring you down!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

"Hey, PLODD, let's put on a FASHION SHOW!"

I don't think I've revealed PLODD's backstory yet, so here's the brief: PLODD is an ex-superhero from a parallel dimension. He doesn't know how he got here, and he doesn't remember much about his past or his origin. He has a gas-powered sledgehammer, big feet and some sort of odd hermetically-sealed costume or second-skin that won't come off, so he's got no idea what's underneath! He's abnormally strong and can sustain pretty serious damage without permanent effect (his costume remains completely indestructible), and any other powers he had seem to have gone dormant when he crossed to this dimension. He lives in a trailer by himself and works odd jobs and as the trailer-park handyman to earn a living, trying to avoid the attention of the world at large (as he'd certainly be a scientific curiosity). That may sound a bit boring, but greater things are in store for PLODD, especially when a few folks from his home dimension come looking for him!

My original designs for PLODD were much more outrageous and included a gas-mask with breathing tubes, and other assorted doodads. I like this streamlined version much better.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

FEAR AGENT pin up pencils -- now with 50% more detail!

I usually do a lot of the detail work while coloring a piece in photoshop, but I wanted to rework this piece and give it a more old-school black and white pulp illustration feel. All the detail and lighting information is here in the drawn piece, so I think I'll do an inked version to be colored in photoshop as well as try to do a digital painting on top of the pencils. We'll see what happens.

Friday, November 2, 2007

"WhiskeyChimp" : It's not a disease, it's entertainment!

Awww... aren't alcoholic monkeys just the cutest! Now, you too can expose your inner inebriated simian by proudly wearing a snappy Pop-Monkey brand WHISKEYCHIMP t-shirt. Coming soon to my t-shirt website.

Before the first weisenheimer pipes in with "but chimps don't have tails", I know that -- it just works better this way... trust me.

Monday, October 29, 2007


Final color design for my HELLBISCUIT t-shirt.
Baked in the ovens of hell and buttered with pure evil! Eating this biscuit will probably condemn your soul to eternal damnation. On the other hand... it IS delicious...
Available for purchase soon!

Saturday, October 27, 2007


Evil biscuits are not to be eaten! Always check for horns and tail before eating! If Satan had a favorite biscuit, it would be... the Hellbiscuit! But Satan doesn't even like biscuits, which makes Hellbiscuit even more bitter and ornery! Butter at your own peril!

Pencils for upcoming t-shirt design. The Hellbiscuit cometh! Final colored version coming soon!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Hide the booze, it's..."WHISKEY-CHIMP"!!

This li'l fella is going to be a t-shirt design when he grows up. Don't worry, he's not an alcoholic -- he can stop drinking whenever he wants. He just doesn't want to.
Final colored version with official "Whiskey-Chimp" logo coming soon!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Finished coloring a pinup for my friend Kevin's comic THIRTEEN STEPS. It's a werewolf comic with some nice twists to it regarding a sort of Alcoholics Anonymous for monsters. Kevin Mellon handles the art like the champ he is, and the writing chores are tag-teamed by Phil Hester and Chuck Satterlee. I've met Chuck at a comic convention, and he's a tremendously friendly guy, but I've yet to meet Phil, though he's been one of my favorite comic artists since he was toiling away at books like THE WRETCH.

Anyway, check out the book, if you can -- it's published by DESPERADO PUBLISHING. The piece follows my standard modus operandi: pen & ink colored in photoshop. The book is printed in black and white with grayscale shading, so I did a grayscale version, though I wanted a full-color piece just for fun!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"Behold... PLODD!"

In high school, I created a character called PLODD who was born of boredom and a hankering to simply draw a really bizarre character who didn't fit into the mold of a typical superhero. Basically, he was an amalgamation of a bunch of doodles -- taking the most bizarre elements and mashing them together. He originally ended up having a full bodysuit, scuba mask with oxygen tanks and breathing tubes, goggles, plastic head "feathers", a kilt, big-ass boots and a giant hammer. I cooked up a whole backstory and some plot outlines and begin drawing a comic with the help of one of my friends, but it was abandoned due to my realizing I really didn't know what I was doing. Plodd's been simmering in the back of my mind ever since, and I've always wanted to revisit him, so why wait any longer?

I did this sketch while basking in the warmth of the new fall TV season. I kept most of the elements of the old Plodd, though I've simplified and streamlined him (losing the scuba mask and hoses). His hammer is now gas-powered (linked to the tank on his back), and his boots aren't quite so big and bulky. I'm going to try and dig out all the plot outlines and scripts I wrote and see what I can make of them. More Plodd to come, hopefully.

Thursday, September 20, 2007


Here's the Birthday card image I did for my Dad's birthday last weekend. I've been an artist for a long time, and I don't think I've ever actually MADE a card for anybody before! Does that seem lazy and thoughtless? It sort of does, and I've wanted to do it in the past, but schoolwork and the job always seemed to get in the way. Hopefully family members and loved ones can look forward to my "homemade" cards from now on (of course, now they'll expect it).

It seemed like such an easy task -- one that would allow me to skirt my usual frutrating perfectionist hang-ups which cause me to redo a piece several times before I'm satisfied -- but, alas, it was not meant to be. After sketching, penciling, inking and scanning in my first attempt, I convinced myself I needed to start over from scratch. The idea was kept, but I decided I needed to take it further along Exaggeration Avenue, and I'm glad I did. You want to go a little further with a goofy concept like this, and the first attempt was a bit too tame and stiff. I'm not going to reproduce the interior text here, but the gag has to do with a "birthday suit" (get it?). Har-dee-har!

Happy birthday to my dad! He turned 60 this year, but I wouldn't guess it from looking at him. We had a great time visiting, especially now that we're closer (a 2 1/2 hour drive instead of 12), and I wish him the best.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN: "Gearhead" Pinups!

I'm back in the swing of things (sort of), so here's my first offering in my new home... final colored versions of the two pinups I did for Kevin Mellon and Dennis Hopeless' GEARHEAD comic. Hopefully these will make it into the collected edition. Gotta go sleepy-sleep for now... I'm sick, and I've been up late trying to get these finished. More later.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007


I've been back from my spectacular and mind-blowing adventure to the San Diego Comic Con for a week or so now, but I haven't had time to catch my breath or post my thoughts here because I'm getting ready to move back to North Carolina in 2 days!! It was a rather sudden thing that was thrust upon us and the reasoning revolves around my wifes job, but we REALLY needed to get out of this tiny duplex and spread out a bit. As an artist, art enthusiast, toy collector and all-around pop-culture junkie, I've accumulated a lot of stuff over the years and it all becomes a real bitch to store and/or display. I would have gotten rid of a bunch of it, but there simply wasn't time for the usual yard sale/ ebay bonanza. I'll end up selling some stuff once we get settled in and unpacked, and I threw a lot of junk out (the garbage collectors are going to hate me in the morning), but the rest has been packed up in boxes and will be hoofed up to Raleigh, NC early Friday morn. The biggest hassle has been my massive comics/ graphic novel collection and the library of reference and art books I've accumulated. Toys aren't that heavy to move, but boxes and boxes of books can be a real back-breaker. I'll definitely be sore by Saturday, and I can already hear my lower back and knees beginning their protests,

Anyway, I'll be incommunicado for several days during the move and unpacking process if you're trying to contact me, and I should be back on the horse and ready to ride in about a week or so. Until then, it's movin' time!!

Thursday, July 12, 2007


It started as a simple, eureka-like, brainstorm: A robot controlling a gorilla controlling a bigger robot! It's monkeys AND robots combined, and we all know that's a cliched, yet reliable, formula for gold-plated success! I sketched it out, keeping the larger robot rather simple (I had just seen the TRANSFORMERS movie and, as good as it was, It put me in the mood for some ... less complicated robots), and the smaller one even more simple. The idea of a small robot manipulating a gorilla in order to manipulate an even larger robot just seems like a winner to me, and I've got some plans to extend this idea, which I can't go into yet. Anyway, for now, here's the pencils for the large robot and a blow-up of the gorilla controller (with minirobot in his head). Enjoy.


I mentioned last post about meeting two cool guys at Heroes Con, Dennis Hopeless and Kevin Mellon. They write and pencil (respectively) a great comic called GEARHEAD from Arcana, and were impressed enough with my work to invite me to do a pinup to be featured in the upcoming trade paperback collection of GEARHEAD. I did two, so here's the pencils for the first one (second will follow soon). Inked and colored version to come soon. Check out the GEARHEAD comic, if you haven't already. Also, be on the lookout for another book penciled by Mellon (written by Chuck Satterlee and Phil Hester) called 13 STEPS from Desperado Publishing. Scheduled to release in August, and looks fantastic!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


Well, I'm finally back from my trip to NC. After HEROES CON, the wife and I took a tour around NC visiting family. The con was great, and was a wonderful experience for my first time on the other side of the table at a comic convention! It was very nice meeting folks who happened to stop by the booth to look at my stuff, and I thank everyone who I met, whether you bought a shirt, sticker, button or print, or just said hi! The best part of the con, however, was the social aspect -- hanging out after the show with fellow table-mates ERIC and SEAN, and new freinds and industry pros DENNIS HOPELESS and KEVIN MELLON was a blast, and it was great to meet (and in some cases impress) some super-talented and very kind and generous industry artists and writers.

It's hard to stay behind your table when there's so much cool stuff to go out and look at and so many cool people to meet! There are so many other talented folks who are fun to talk to and very approachable and interesting as long as you take the time to talk to them for a bit. I got several trade paperbacks and comics signed by some of my favorite creators, and I got to meet a few idols of mine (like ERIC POWELL) for the first time ever!

I'd like to thank the following pros and attendees for their kindness and generosity, and for just taking the time to talk for a bit: RICK REMENDER, TONY MOORE, MATT FRACTION, JOHN LUCAS, DANIELLE CORSETTO, LIZ GREENFIELD, J. CHRIS CAMPBELL, ED MCGUINNESS, ERIC POWELL, KERON GRANT, CHAD THOMAS, KEVIN MELLON, DENNIS HOPELESS, ROBIN FURTH, PETER DAVID, MISS DANIKA, and a few others who are escaping my memory's grasp right now. Special thanks to ALBERTO RUIZ for his continued support, encouragement, and generosity! He's always a joy to see and talk to at these cons, and he's got such a postive and enthusiastic attitude for what he does... plus he produces some high-quality books! Also, it was awesome meeting a few of the hosts of one of my favorite comics podcasts, COMIC GEEK SPEAK! I introduced myself to BRYAN DEEMER, PETER RIOS, and JAMIE D at one of the after-parties and talked with each of them for a bit -- great guys, and I wish I'd spent more time with them... maybe at the next con!

Anyway, back to the grind... time to get ready for the SAN DIEGO COMIC CON!! This will be my first time attending the show, and I want to beef up my portfolio to get some decent jobs! I've wanted to go to this con for a LONG time, and I can't wait!!

Monday, June 11, 2007


Finally got my table assignment for my appearance at the HEROES CONVENTION in Charlotte, North Carolina this weekend of June 15th-17th. POP-MONKEY ILLUSTRATION will be at tables A411 and A412, and I'll be hosting fellow artists and friends SEAN CHAPMAN and ERIC JONES!! Unfortunately, despite the listing on the HeroesCon website, EMILY GROSS will not be able to join us at our tables due to her landing a sweet job and having to move and settle in. Her presence will be missed, but I wish her the best of luck, and hopefully she'll be able to join us at the BALTIMORE COMIC CON in September!

Heroes Con is always a fantastic show -- not overblown and super-crowded like the huge "name brand" conventions, but still chock full of great guests, cool merchandise, and fun! I always discover at least two new "favorite artists" each time I go, and it's been a regular stop on my yearly convention circuit for most of the past 15 years (although this will be my first time on the other side of the table, so to speak)!

Anyway, drop in, if you can and visit, buy some shirts, stickers and buttons and say hi! I'll be doing quick cheap cartoon sketches too, for those interested in those sorts of things!

Sunday, June 10, 2007


New shirt-alert!! My second shirt design has been posted at my online store, POP-MONKEY STUFF!! (also available as a button and a coaster!), so stop by and check it out (better yet, buy one)! What's the story with this guy? He's a big pink bully who, every once in a while, sprouts a flower from the top of his head and skips around town. Don't ask why... he'll probably beat you up! Available in a nice assortment of colors in guys, gals and kids styles! Whee!


My first T-shirt design featured in my online store, POP-MONKEY STUFF!! The site my store is hosted by is PRINTFECTION.COM, and they do Digital Transfer printing, which means they can do one shirt at a time to fill indivudual orders, but it ends up costing more, so my profit margin is drastically less than if I'd have them screenprinted.

However, I DID have them screenprinted (at least the greenish design, for now), but I haven't received the order yet to see how they turned out. I wanted to have some on-hand to sell at the upcoming HeroesCon in Charlotte, NC, rather than just pointing people to the Printfection store. The screenprinting costs allow me to sell the shirts a bit cheaper and make more money per shirt, but each color used in the printing boosts the cost, so I have to keep it low (this is a 4-color design), whereas with the Digital transfer printing, I am unhidered by such limitations. So anyway, both avenues have their pros and cons, and sort of balance out in the end, but I need to be able to bring product to display at conventions while still having a relatively hassle-free online store. Printfection allows me to post any design I want on many varieties of shirts in various colors, and I don't have to order 100 shirts at a time from a screenprinter, but I make less per shirt.

Anyway, I'll post pics of the screenprinted job as soon as it arrives. Meanwhile, head over to my online store and order some stuff!

Saturday, June 9, 2007



The SKIDMARK SISTERS are the OctoPrimate Roller Derby team genetically engineered by PROFESSOR SQUIDHEAD during his "evil mad scientist" phase to conquer the world roller derby circuit. Anyway, they're part Gorilla, part Octopus, and they can block, pivot and jam like nobody's business! Oh, and they HATE music of ANY kind!


Chester Teague hails from Kentucky and is one of those dyed-in-the-wool racists who is part of the traditional legacy of hate often found in southern redneck communities. Chester takes his racism to unsettling extremes, however, perhaps due to the mental damage inbreeding can cause, or perhaps due to the fact that he's flat-out crazy. Stemming from an effort to win the approval of his callous and emotionless father, and at the same time outdo the old man, Chester (who followed his father’s footsteps by joining the Ku Klux Klan) began actually eating his lynching victims, and found he had quite a taste for minority flesh. He views any non-white not only as inferior and subhuman, but as cattle to be dined upon. It’s offensive and unsettling, to be sure, but that’s what makes him such a despicable villain.

Thursday, June 7, 2007


SQUAGGROTH JR. -- Reluctant would-be World Conqueror and Evil Overlord

One of H.E.R.P.E.S’ many wicked schemes included a plot to conjure up an ancient elder god called Squaggroth, who would grant them near-limitless power in gratitude for being released from his centuries-old prison. Squaggroth was supposed to begin a revenge-laden spree of destruction and debauchery upon gaining his freedom, but when the complicated spells and rites were complete, Squaggroth’s actual appearance didn’t quite measure up to DOCTOR HEDONISM’s expectations. The ancient tome of spells made Squaggroth out to be a hideous and twisted malevolent beast whose very countenance inspired madness and insanity, but the centuries had not been kind to the elder god. What they got was a withered, depressed and lazy bum of a “god” who just wanted to sit on the couch, eat greasy snacks and catch up on all the good TV shows he’d missed.

There was a slight glimmer of hope, however. Squaggroth had sired a son, who was destined to be even more foul and merciless than his father. With reluctant and grunting help from Squaggroth, DOCTOR HEDONISM and his fellow H.E.R.P.E.S. cronies tracked down SQUAGGROTH JR., only to be disappointed again. As is typical of many teenagers, SQUAGGROTH JR. had rebelled against is parents, choosing to forsake his destiny and ignore his potential in favor of hanging out on street corners, spray painting graffiti on alley walls, and hassling cops. DOCTOR HEDONISM had put too much time and effort into his scheme to give up, however, so they kidnapped SQUAGGROTH JR., taking him back to H.E.R.P.E.S. headquarters and hoping to instill the sort of values and character into him that his father obviously neglected to -- the sort of values that would cause him to rise up and enslave humanity, laying waste to the earth and devouring all who oppose him!

COLLIDE-O-SCOPE part 12: L.I.N.C.O.L.N.!!

L.I.N.C.O.L.N. (Lethally Intelligent Non-Confederate with an Obscenely Large Noggin) -- evil, steam-powered ex-President

The first thing you might notice about this imposing fellow is his enormous head (as tall as a grown man). He can't support the weight of his massive melon on those tiny legs, so his mobility is dependent on his special steam-powered frame constructed from the very wood from balcony state box #7 in which the original Lincoln was assassinated at Ford's Theatre The Civil War-era cannon he keeps housed is his hat is but one of many wicked devices stored there.

L.I.N.C.O.L.N. is a semi-zombified clone of the beloved ex-president (hence his grayish color), and his freakish appearance is the disastrous result of some haywire plot gone wrong. This Lincoln is nasty and generally evil -- he wants to undo all that Original Lincoln accomplished and reduce ALL of humanity to an illiterate, subservient slave race. He also wants a bride, and I'm sure that won't end well! Why clone Original Lincoln, and who would do such a thing? That’s a mystery for now, but who's to say that time travel won't figure into this freakish villain's story during the course of events? Who's to say that Original Lincoln won't travel back in time to help our heroes in COLLIDE-O-SCOPE defeat this affront to nature and history? Not me -- in fact, I think that'd be quite swell!


CAPTAIN BILLY CRIBKILLER -- Leader of the Fetal Pirates

Billy is the leader of a group of nasty little pirates called the FETAL PIRATES. They fly around in an airborne pirate ship, descending on and plundering helpless victims with the aid of their floating jellyfish placentas which they are connected to via their umbilical cords. The placentas are filled with helium gas, enabling them to float, and have additional tentacles which hold their spare weapons, reload their pistolas, and help them with tasks too difficult for their tiny fingers.


ERGOPHOBOS & his RASCAL OF DOOM -- Ancient Egyptian Wizard and Handicapped Mobility Device

What's threatening about a fat, lazy white guy on a motorized "Rascal"? Nothing really. But when that fat, lazy white guy is possessed by the spirit of an ancient Egyptian wizard who was put to death for trying to assassinate the Pharaoh, THEN things get dangerous! ERGOPHOBOS is a glutton for culinary delights (obviously), and perhaps would be able to do more to further his goals of world conquest if the body he (accidentally) came to possess was a bit more on the fit and active side. So, Ergophobos rules what he can from the comfort of his recliner or his motorized Rascal. Ergophobos is a member of the perverse diabolical organization known as H.E.R.P.E.S., and has secret schemes of wresting control of the organization out of the hands of it's current leader, DOCTOR HEDONISM.


BLACKFACE HITLER & RED DWARF -- evil performance artists

Relax, he’s a bad guy. BLACKFACE HITLER is one of the most outrageous members of H.E.R.P.E.S., and has devised many a scheme to befoul our heroes in COLLIDE-O-SCOPE. None of his peers actually calls him BLACKFACE HITLER, though -- they just call him BH for short. BH abandoned his long-forgotten birth name when he decided to really stick it to his parents by becoming a performance artist. His father considered art a waste of time (especially the twisted, offensive stuff his son was producing), and wanted young BH to follow in his footsteps, becoming a criminal defense lawyer. When BH came home to find his latest sculptural masterpiece vandalized during one of his father’s drunken tirades, BH calmly disemboweled his sleeping parent, and used his body parts to repair his violated sculpture. When BH’s mother arrived home that day, she found her husband dead and a note from her son claiming responsibility for the murder and announcing his own artistic awakening. Thus began BH’s illegal and underground career as the worlds most offensive artist.

BH firmly believes that true Art must be offensive and shocking. If it doesn't offend at least two demographics, then it's not Art, and he sees the world as his canvas. He began seeking to transform himself into an offensive work of art, which caught the attention of DOCTOR HEDONISM, whom he had surgically alter himself to look like the most hated man in history, Adolph Hitler. RED DWARF is his silent companion, a dwarf whom he met at an underground art show, and whom he thought looked remarkably like Vladymir Lenin. RED DWARF became instantly enamored with BH, becoming his devoted companion and toady. He is always by BH's side, unless he is "unleashed" to strike out at his enemies with his deadly skills brandishing and throwing cutlery.


DOCTOR HEDONISM -- leader of H.E.R.P.E.S.
This is Dr. Hayden Dulgent, otherwise known as DOCTOR HEDONISM, de facto leader of the wicked and creepy H.E.R.P.E.S. organization (Hedonistic Empire of Reprobates Perverting Earth's Stability). Hayden was raised in abject poverty and was denied any and all luxuries by his overly-strict and miserly parents. Once he left home, earned his doctorate and began making some real dough, he went completely overboard, pampering and spoiling himself with every pleasurable vice he could conceive of or invent. His growing lusts caused him to run afoul of the law, so he formed his own little empire, which he saddled with the unfortunate name H.E.R.P.E.S., and began calling himself DOCTOR HEDONISM! He began surrounding himself with other like-minded caution-to-the-wind pleasure-seekers who shared his common goal of the pursuit of "happiness", no matter how deviant, perverse or illegal, and heedless of its effect on others. Despite his haggard, withered, gray appearance, DOCTOR HEDONISM has not yet celebrated his 50th birthday. His constant indulgence in all manner of sick and harmful vices has ravaged his body, so he employs a team of physicians whose sole task is to keep his heart beating and to prevent the many diseases he has contracted from snuffing him out entirely, so he can persist in his perverse quest.

DOCTOR HEDONISM must get around with the aid of his "Pleasure Chair" (patent pending), which is custom-built to handle some of his rare needs and desires. It houses ether and oxygen tanks along with respirator mask, interior massage devices, and a swivel monitor which he can use to monitor the feed from his security cameras, or simply view any of his collection of rauchy and/or illegal porno. He loves to dine on endangered animals, and can often be found enjoying panda steaks, horned owl cutlets or cream of snow leopard soup.


Obviously, this is the big bad guy of the series. Lucifer himself, who will plague our heroes, and scheme with the other assorted villains in his attempt to regain his lost musical treasure! He can assume any shape he desires, of course, but this is his "standard" earth form, based on the preconceptions and prejudices of humanity. "But he should be red," you say. Well, listen, Lucifer can only stomach the cliched appearance so much, and he's grown absolutely sick of red. Blue is in, for the Prince of Darkness!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007


PROF. FLEETWOOD is the mentor/ benefactor/ father figure to the group of musical heroes known as COLLIDE-O-SCOPE. He used to have a normal human head until his arch-nemesis cast a spell on him which turned his head into a squid. Immediately following his grotesque transformation, the Professor had a bit of a mental breakdown and adopted the moniker PROFESSOR SQUIDHEAD, becoming an evil mad scientist who left his adopted family and clashed with them on several occasions. Before being brought back to his senses by our heroes, PROFESSOR SQUIDHEAD was responsible for the creation of the OCTOPRIMATE ROLLER DERBY team THE SKIDMARK SISTERS, which was the result of some bizarre psychological side effect his newfound "mad scientist" persona had when combined with repressed memories of his father pressuring him towards athletics during high school (don't ask).

Anyway, having regained his sanity, if not his full humanity, PROF. FLEETWOOD eventually returned to the mountainside headquarters/ laboratory that he shares with COLLIDE-O-SCOPE, though his head regrettably remains a squid. His frequent attempts at reversing the spell have been fruitless, and he hopes one day to track down the elusive dark wizard responsible for his condition, which he sees as his only hope to regain a normal noggin.


BRUCE is very fit with somewhat overdeveloped arms and legs due to the physical efforts of drumming. He sports a wild and uncontrollable flame of light brown hair which seems to be resistant to any manner of combing or gelling. BRUCE drums with a wild-eyed abandon and works up quite a sweat! His partner in timekeeping is the recently-deceased spectre-of-the-skins, KIT CADENCE. KIT has become conjoined with BRUCE, and “haunts” him, unable to be separated from his flesh-and-blood partner, and he is actually the spirit of the ex-husband of BRUCE’s current girlfriend!
Before BRUCE was recruited to join COLLIDE-O-SCOPE, he fell in love with a woman named April, who had just lost her husband KIT in a tragic accident. Due to the somewhat mystical nature of the accident, however, KIT’s spirit was unable to move on to the afterlife. KIT’s ghost had no apparent purpose and no idea what he was supposed to do as an invisible, intangible spirit, so he hung around April, deciding to watch over her as a sort of guardian angel. When April started dating BRUCE, however, KIT became enraged and jealous, growing in power to the point where he could affect things on the physical plane. He tried several times, in his fits of desperation and anger, to get rid of BRUCE, convinced he was not fit to woo his beloved April.
BRUCE’s unnatural powers of luck saved him from certain death, however, and KIT became so delirious in his rage, that he turned on APRIL, believing her to be unfaithful to him and convinced that she was responsible for his death. BRUCE enlisted the help of a local priest, Father Chuck, to ward off KIT and bring him back to a state of rational thought before he went too far over the edge. Father Chuck had never encountered such a spiritual conundrum before, and concluded that he could not send KIT on to the next life, and could not even restore his sanity unless KIT’s spirit was bound to that of an earthly mortal. BRUCE volunteered to be KIT’s “anchor”, and so it was done. KIT was returned to sanity, now bound to BRUCE, realizing that BRUCE was a good man after all, who would take care of April.
Coincidentally, KIT was also a drummer before he "passed on", so the two now form an inseparable dual drumming dynamo, packing twice the percussive ability and speed of any one man, which enables them to handle the massive spread of drums they employ in their rhythmic arsenal.
Because of the dual onslaught of BRUCE’s hyper-speed coupled with KIT’s ectotheric power, the two can build up percussive rhythms of variable frequencies that can heat materials to the boiling/ combustion point, or resonate a “phase-frequency” in certain objects. They are still exploring the limits of this heretofore undocumented ability.
BRUCE and KIT’s sprawling drum set contains almost every type and size of snare, tom, cymbal, chime, bell and bass imaginable, and any single man would cower in fear at the thought of commanding such a setup.

KIT is an insatiable pack rat who is always keeping an eye out for cool doohickeys to add to his collection of curious and interesting objects and odd percussion tools. He always carries around a pair of drumsticks, constantly testing out the sounds of any object that catches his eye (to the annoyance and irritation of those around him).
BRUCE is unnaturally strong -- thus, traditional drum sets cannot withstand his brutal barrage of percussion, and the membranous drums in his arsenal have to be fitted with special heads custom made from stretched Wooly Mammoth skin extracted from glaciers, rhinoceros hides, and other extremely durable materials. Sadly, and perhaps due to his spectral nature, KIT seems to have some sort of bad mojo when dealing with any machine more complex than his studio headphones. SPITFIRE and PROFESSOR FLEETWOOD have banned him from the garage and the lab due to his ruining several complex projects.


ALITA TOCCATA -- Keyboards/ Electronica
Alita was born to a wealthy family who turned their noses up at anything less than classical music and opera. Naturally, she rebelled against this during her high school years, hooking up with a local Rockabilly group, as well as a British-style new-wave ensemble. Her parents practically disowned her, and she hasn’t really cared to look back since (or so she claims).

ALITA has sense memory, which allows her to instantly gauge the function and history of any mechanical object simply by touching it. This ability not only gives her an edge in the garage fixing gadgets and vehicles, but also allows her to quickly master any musical instrument. Because of this, ALITA is essentially able to play every instrument known to man on at least a novice level, and has taken to learning each one, in alphabetical order since she discovered this gift at the age of 12.
Although she doesn’t dress the part (except when working in the garage), ALITA is rather tomboyish, and, since she excels at mechanics, can often be found down in the workshop/ garage, fixing Professor Fleetwood’s abused equipment or keeping the band’s various vehicles in repair. SPITFIRE will sometimes help out if ALITA needs an extra hand, but she usually doesn’t, especially since she has three of her own! Perhaps another of the growing number of mutation side-effects of Roca Lago’s magic spring water, ALITA was born with three arms: two left arms and one right. This has proven invaluable in tasks ranging from handling her multiple keyboards during a performance, to fixing cars, to driving the Collide-O-Scope van while simultaneously fending off attacking hordes of SludgeNinja with her katana sword!


Juancarlos Delgado (“Shrubb”) -- Bass Guitar
Enigmatic, Hispanic and very hairy, SHRUBB’s face is permanently hidden by his shrub-like head of hair (hence, his nickname -- get it?) -- the only “facial feature” visible is the pair of special goggles he wears. SHRUBB’s fashion sense leans towards the early 70’s as he is usually found sporting bellbottom pants, apple hats, army jackets, puka shells, and huckapoo shirts (and Angel Flight suits when he’s feeling fancy). Tall, lanky and stoop-shouldered, SHRUBB is very laid back and relaxed, and he rarely speaks except for the occasional brief sentence, usually in Spanish, all of which makes it quite difficult to read his mood/ feelings. Very dependable and loyal, he will rarely protest or argue, deferring to the authority of those around him that he trusts.
How can SHRUBB see through that head of hair? Why, he’s got X-ray vision, of course! Not just x-ray, mind you, but SHRUBB can see in a much broader range of extra-spectrum sight, allowing him to see things others would never be aware of. He can even see when someone is lying! His “magic goggles” have even tapped into his brain through some sort of symbiotic link, and the lenses often display onomatopoeic phrases related to SHRUBB’’s state of mind. How did SHRUBB come to possess these stupefying shades and why does he hide his face? That remains a mystery for now. His bass-playing prowess, however, is not a mystery, and SHRUBB can more than handle any style of bass-playing with ridiculous ease, from lightning fast metal, to slap-funk!


FUSELLA “SPITFIRE” HOTSPUR -- Rhythm/ Lead Guitar/ Vocals
Fusella is as her nickname implies, and she’ll probably sock you in the jaw if you call her “Fusella”! She is hot-tempered, quick to speak or act first and think later. Foul-mouthed, and brash, SPITFIRE is slow to give thanks, admit mistakes and offer congratulations, yet she likes to feel useful, so will often offer her assistance where needed, but only if she is asked first.
SPITFIRE’s body is decorated with “living tattoos” based on the Chinese zodiac, but they are no longer visible unless she “activates” them. She can an animate and detach these tattoos from her skin to become tangible, three-dimensional helper beasts, each with different useful strengths and characteristics. Once the tattoo-beast’s task is done, she can reabsorb it back into her skin. SPITFIRE can animate more than one tattoo-beast at a time, but each one takes a bit of her life-force with it, weakening her a bit until it is reabsorbed.
All of the tattoos were created by the same man at the same tattoo parlor -- an ancient Chinese man who spoke in confusing proverbs and riddles. The power to animate the tattoos was not available until the final tattoo was completely healed. Upon removing the bandage covering this last tattoo, all of the beasts briefly sprang forth from her skin at once, sending SPITFIRE into a near coma. Once she was released from the hospital, SPITFIRE went back to find the strange Chinese fellow, seeking answers to what he had done to her, but the shop and the old man were gone, leaving only an empty building that looked like it hadn’t been occupied in years. Since then, SPITFIRE has never released more than three beasts at a time, fearing for her life if she does.
Spitfire often becomes conflicted with identity issues due to the wide range of abilities her zodiac animals grant her. As she is able to temporarily assume their attributes upon reabsorbing them, she has trouble defining where they end and where she begins.