Wednesday, May 30, 2007
COLLIDE-O-SCOPE part 5: "BRUCE BASTINADO & KIT CADENCE"!!
BRUCE BASTINADO & KIT CADENCE -- Percussion
BRUCE is very fit with somewhat overdeveloped arms and legs due to the physical efforts of drumming. He sports a wild and uncontrollable flame of light brown hair which seems to be resistant to any manner of combing or gelling. BRUCE drums with a wild-eyed abandon and works up quite a sweat! His partner in timekeeping is the recently-deceased spectre-of-the-skins, KIT CADENCE. KIT has become conjoined with BRUCE, and “haunts” him, unable to be separated from his flesh-and-blood partner, and he is actually the spirit of the ex-husband of BRUCE’s current girlfriend!
Before BRUCE was recruited to join COLLIDE-O-SCOPE, he fell in love with a woman named April, who had just lost her husband KIT in a tragic accident. Due to the somewhat mystical nature of the accident, however, KIT’s spirit was unable to move on to the afterlife. KIT’s ghost had no apparent purpose and no idea what he was supposed to do as an invisible, intangible spirit, so he hung around April, deciding to watch over her as a sort of guardian angel. When April started dating BRUCE, however, KIT became enraged and jealous, growing in power to the point where he could affect things on the physical plane. He tried several times, in his fits of desperation and anger, to get rid of BRUCE, convinced he was not fit to woo his beloved April.
BRUCE’s unnatural powers of luck saved him from certain death, however, and KIT became so delirious in his rage, that he turned on APRIL, believing her to be unfaithful to him and convinced that she was responsible for his death. BRUCE enlisted the help of a local priest, Father Chuck, to ward off KIT and bring him back to a state of rational thought before he went too far over the edge. Father Chuck had never encountered such a spiritual conundrum before, and concluded that he could not send KIT on to the next life, and could not even restore his sanity unless KIT’s spirit was bound to that of an earthly mortal. BRUCE volunteered to be KIT’s “anchor”, and so it was done. KIT was returned to sanity, now bound to BRUCE, realizing that BRUCE was a good man after all, who would take care of April.
Coincidentally, KIT was also a drummer before he "passed on", so the two now form an inseparable dual drumming dynamo, packing twice the percussive ability and speed of any one man, which enables them to handle the massive spread of drums they employ in their rhythmic arsenal.
Because of the dual onslaught of BRUCE’s hyper-speed coupled with KIT’s ectotheric power, the two can build up percussive rhythms of variable frequencies that can heat materials to the boiling/ combustion point, or resonate a “phase-frequency” in certain objects. They are still exploring the limits of this heretofore undocumented ability.
BRUCE and KIT’s sprawling drum set contains almost every type and size of snare, tom, cymbal, chime, bell and bass imaginable, and any single man would cower in fear at the thought of commanding such a setup.
KIT is an insatiable pack rat who is always keeping an eye out for cool doohickeys to add to his collection of curious and interesting objects and odd percussion tools. He always carries around a pair of drumsticks, constantly testing out the sounds of any object that catches his eye (to the annoyance and irritation of those around him).
BRUCE is unnaturally strong -- thus, traditional drum sets cannot withstand his brutal barrage of percussion, and the membranous drums in his arsenal have to be fitted with special heads custom made from stretched Wooly Mammoth skin extracted from glaciers, rhinoceros hides, and other extremely durable materials. Sadly, and perhaps due to his spectral nature, KIT seems to have some sort of bad mojo when dealing with any machine more complex than his studio headphones. SPITFIRE and PROFESSOR FLEETWOOD have banned him from the garage and the lab due to his ruining several complex projects.
Super-secret key words
Bruce Bastinado,
drum,
Kit Cadence,
pack rat,
phase frequency,
wooly mammoth
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